In case it's necessary, I'm working in the category $\mathbf{Ab}$ of abelian groups. My question concerns what I find to be a strange way of viewing the elements of the Ext group $\mbox{Ext}(A,B)$ of the abelian groups $A$ and $B$. The statement of my question is at the end of this post but first two definitions and some notation.
A morphism $\varphi\colon E\rightarrow E'$ of short exact sequences $$E=0\rightarrow B\rightarrow G\rightarrow A\rightarrow 0$$ and $$E'=0\rightarrow B'\rightarrow G'\rightarrow A'\rightarrow 0$$ of abelian groups is a triple $\varphi=(b,g,a)$ of group homomorphisms $b\colon B\rightarrow B'$, $g\colon G\rightarrow G'$ and $a\colon A\rightarrow A'$ making the obvious diagram commute. So, $\varphi$ is an isomorphism precisely when $b, g$ and $a$ are isomorphisms.
We say that the SESs (short exact sequences) $E$ and $E'$ are equivalent if $B=B'$, $A=A'$ and there exists a SES morphism $(b,g,a)=\varphi\colon E\rightarrow E'$ with $b=\mbox{Id}_B$ and $a=\mbox{Id}_A$. By the short five-lemma, if $\varphi$ is an equivalence of SESs, then it is a SES isomorphism.
Wikipedia says that the classes of equivalent SESs with fixed $A$ and $B$ are in one to one correspondence with the elements of the Ext group $\mbox{Ext}(A,B)$. However, one would have guessed that it would be more natural to view the elements of $\mbox{Ext}(A,B)$ as classes of isomorphic SESs with $A$ and $B$ fixed. My question is, are these actually equivalent ways of viewing the elements of the Ext group?
More precisely, if $E$ and $E'$ are short exact sequences of abelian groups with $A=A'$ and $B=B'$, is it true that if $E$ is isomorphic to $E'$ then $E$ is equivalent to $E'$? (If this is true, does it then hold in any exact category?)